When A Handshake Is The Only Touch A Man Gets

Some men go months without being hugged. Some go years. And somewhere along the way, they stopped thinking that was unusual.

They work. They show up. They shake hands. They fist bump. They slap each other on the shoulder. They carry what needs carrying.

And they adapt.

Maybe that’s the part we don’t talk about enough. The adaptation.

A man can become so good at living without tenderness that eventually he stops recognizing tenderness as something he needs.

That doesn’t mean he’s broken.

It doesn’t mean he’s desperate for a relationship.

It doesn’t mean he hates being alone.

Sometimes a man genuinely loves his solitude. He can still need human touch.

They’re not mutually exclusive

Maybe we’ve put too much of that responsibility onto romantic relationships and not enough into friendship, brotherhood, family and ordinary human connection.

So hug your fucking friends.

Tell the guy you love that you love him.

Put your hand on his shoulder when life is beating the shit out of him.

And if he laughs when you do it, hug the bastard anyway.

We don’t have to make tenderness between men strange.

Sometimes the strong man just needs somewhere to put his weight.

Come here, man.

Phoenix Field

Presence Over Performance. Always.